December 01-

New swimsuit arrives in mail, bringing total of new suits to three in as many months . (Perhaps there is a Swimsuit of the Month club?) Instructions on tag state that suit should be Kept away from fire and Washed in clean water. Can only wonder what Chinese workers think we do in our swimsuits. Mine remains almost exclusively in bodies of water surrounded by cement.

Memory recrudesces of long ago days at the beach and building campfires. Perhaps Chinese remember similar days? (Am almost positive there is a beach in China, but will consult World Map, hanging on office wall but rarely referred to.)

Have finished reading autobiography of famous movie star’s daughter. Both mother and daughter still firmly alive, and can only wonder at strained relations, if any, that predominate between them. Adjure dear Brandon to Wait until I die before publishing memoirs, as number of phone calls from me to him reiterating that That Never Happened would be phenomenal.

(Mem: Remind him to read movie stars children’s memoirs as buffer to poor memory, as celebrities appear to make terrible parents. In contrast, perhaps I will become Mother of the Year in his mind’s eye?)

Just as I step onto platform to accept award and accolades for Mother of Year, I become angry at Brandon when tidying house. He has left mess in home office again. Am aware that I will be held responsible by his future wife for any shortcomings in his habits, nature, or character. Feel this is unjust, and am prepared to argue vehemently on own behalf that he is grown and can make better decisions. Will also inquire of future daughter-in-law if she has ever heard the words Work In Progress, or Free Will? Feel sure this will give her pause, and she will perhaps cease to blame me for his deficiencies.

(NB: Fictional arguments with mythical in-laws most satisfactory, as I cannot lose).

Wonder whether I am only one certified to fill soap dispensers or toilet paper holders. Am unsure whether to be gratified at trusting faith put in my capabilities, or give notice. (Remember in time I do not get paid, therefore giving notice will very likely go unnoticed).

Have recourse to watching television. Ad is playing showing young couple, pre-teen daughter, and grandmother on road trip. Girl and grandmother bonding in back seat, and mini movie ends by all hugging tree while young mother rolls her eyes.  Am reduced to tears as attractive, fictional family drives away from Woodstock.

Make plans to visit Woodstock, which is inconvenient in the extreme. Instead, play DVD of long ago music festival and feel better. (Query here presents itself: Whether television should be denied to the elderly, or whether it would be fun or wise to run away from home and go to Woodstock. Am aware that entire question does not encompass continuity of thought. Will take Sugar as protection against Undesirables encountered on road trip).

Recall with clarity that Woodstock festival took place in big, muddy field with amenities of civilization practically non-existent. Decide Hippie Lifestyle must just be left to advertisements and imagination.