November 10-

Vocabulary Circle of Life makes it’s first appearance in Diary. Dear Brandon tells me English dictionary has caved to Societal pressure, and the word ‘literally’ is now defined as being both actual and metaphorical. This change occurring because word has been misused so often, that universal incorrect usage has led to ultimate validation with inclusion in dictionary. Excellent example of people who are so wrong, full circle is achieved to Being Right.

(Query: Why cannot this desirable state of circular error manifest itself when gaining weight? To become so overweight that one is actually thin would indeed validate a Higher Authority for many people.)

Spend unprofitable half hour trying to decide which definition I might change, should I have time to misuse a word often enough. This would require that I use it incorrectly in front of a great many people. It would also entail Leaving the House and Talking to People.

circle of life

(This course of action has rarely proven beneficial.)

During freak wind storm, patio umbrella with pole from next door is picked up and thrown through pane of glass near bed. Tremendous crash makes me wonder if we are under attack by Middle East, and prepare to volunteer my Services with all speed. Just as I am being awarded Medal of Honor for bravery Above and Beyond, neighbor begins to replace pane of glass with admirable lack of unnecessary words. Only wish Neighbor had informed me first, as I was attired in my usual nightshirt sans underwear. Was quite startled to see strange male face at window.

Neighbors are Guatemalan, and I reflect that courtesies of cultures other than strictly American very commendable. With other neighbors would perhaps be waiting forever for new pane, or would just replace and pay for it ourselves. (Broken window could conceivably be attributed to Act of God, although cannot understand why God does not like my window.)

window

Weather now cool enough to plan yard sale. There appears to be more items for sale than are in house. Check to make sure boxes are still filled with items no longer needed, as tendency of family to ‘rescue’ articles from boxes depletes supplies. (NB: Am reasonably sure every item will become sorely missed and needed the moment it is disposed of. Am also sure that each family member will decide in favor of keeping everything, snatching items from the hands of shoppers.) Memory recrudesces of dear friend’s mother who went to thrift store to buy back everything he had donated, with her consent, he had supposed.

(Mem: Find donation center across town and claim loss of memory as to where it is.)

Call dear Aunt, who has recently turned 91. Could not reach her by phone, so after trying in vain to reach relatives, called her local police and asked them to check on her. When I do talk to her, she is bubbly and cheerful about two young, handsome officers who came to her door.

aunt

She tells me about neighbors who are growing something that smells very strange. After investigation, she discovers they are growing marijuana. Reassure her that it is no doubt legal, or at least very close, and adjure her to show caution. Should field catch fire she would become stoned, which would be very strange at her time of life.

She also tells police officers about neighbors. Cannot convince her that mellow people are much nicer to be around than drunks, and in fact, do not indulge in violence or have traffic accidents. Arguments fall on deaf ears. (Dear aunt has perfect hearing, but ninety-one too advanced an age to think more progressively.)

We discuss great-grandfather who ran away from home at age ten, became stable boy, then jockey, and finally wealthy racehorse owner. Dear great-grandfather one of the few in family to Achieve Wealth.

(Mem: Ask dear Brandon why he didn’t run away and make Big Money for us? It is too late now, as he is no longer ten.)

Go shopping to acquire new purse. Very specific tastes as to what is needed and wanted in a handbag, and find myself sitting in chair, surrounded by a great many bags, and discussing merits, or lack thereof, with sympathetic elderly man who is sitting near me, waiting patiently for his wife. He very kindly examines bags with me, and discusses whether each has the desired attributes. Wife reappears, they depart, and I make decision.

(Query: Have men been unfairly maligned as being unhelpful when it comes to fashion choices?)

 

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