Mysterious banging in wall continues all day. A mouse has found his way into vitamin drawer and ingested large quantity of allergy pills. Mouse is now Stoned Out of his Mind, and having Time of His Life behind kitchen sink. Have made repeated attempts to dissuade him from taking up residence in house, as I am of firm mind that he is perfectly capable of living outside. Hole in wall ensuring ingress must be found and covered. Reflect, not for the first time, that while older homes may be charming, they are not All they are Cracked up to Be.
(Am faintly resentful that Mouse is having better time than I am.)
Spend sweaty hour cleaning under appliances. Later, dear Don imitates Mouse, kicking his feet across clean floor, saying This is Nice, This is Nice. (Memories of sweat pouring in eyes during cleaning ensures lack of amusement on my part.)
Dear Brandon is known in certain circles as the Mouse Whisperer. He has, on occasion, when we lived in the country, put large hat over mouse who is Playing Dead in middle of floor, and carried him outside to freedom. Mouse then expresses gratitude by using second chance to Spread the Word about local available resources.
(Dear Sugar is determined to make his acquaintance, but Mouse keeps low profile when not in Party mode.)
Take time to finish seventies novel, Goodbye Columbus, Memories recrudesce of long-distant youth and movies that were current, and conclusion arises that I do not understand them now any better than I did then. Escapist Literature aptly named as I only wish to escape reading certain books. (Motivation to read library books comes from desire to return them after many months of renewal.)
Park in front of library and older man in new sports car asks me for jumper cables. I reply in the negative, and he says He didn’t think I would as I am a Woman. As he is a man, and doesn’t have cables, and is, in fact, the one who needs them, I fail to understand rationale for patronizing comment. Three or four chihuahuas in front passenger seat could very well explain lack of native intelligence on his part.
On exiting library, two Young Things ask me to sign petition to legalize marijuana. I agree and sign, but remark that all drugs should be legalized in order to tax them, reduce crime, ensure cleanliness of illegal substances, and empty jails. One Young Thing is very shocked and says Oh, no, some drugs should not be legalized.
(Would like to have ‘shocked’ Old Thing who has dead battery and multiple chihuahuas, but lack of jumper cables prevents this, and I do not carry tazer.)
Drive home musing over the diametrical opposition of two age groups, but contradictory to what one might expect. (Remember generational conflict in Goodbye Columbus. Reflect that reading it was perhaps not Waste of Time as I discover parallel between Life and Literature.)
Had vivid dream about a Tuna fish sandwich last night. Bread curiously elongated, as if made from an entire loaf, and am just about to enjoy a bite, when I awaken. Decide to fix tuna fish salad for lunch, sans bread. (Have not tasted bread for many months.)
Thoughts of bread make me feel very Upper-Crust when taking down Summer Curtains to replace with Winter Curtains. Entire procedure takes five seconds when I pop pressure rod off of frame and fold up blackout curtains. Sunshine, which only weeks ago, set off smoke alarms, now welcome addition to everyday life.
Am victim of two instances of Random Violence whilst at neighborhood pool. Young, pretty lifeguard, with annoyingly perfect figure, (no doubt maintained with no effort on her part, and with daily ingestion of tuna fish sandwiches) comes by to chat with me while she oils handrails with cloth.
(Give myself motivational speech that having perfect figure not necessary at my time of life. Thought inserts that it would Still Be Nice.)
Oiled handrails do not bode well. While trying to hoist myself out, hands slip, catapulting me back ungracefully into pool. Reassure lifeguard as to my well-being, Dignity Only injured, and try to don swim cap as barrier to chemicals. Swim cap very tight, snaps back in curt way, and slaps me on face, producing memories of General Patton. Dignity again injured, but still do not require ministrations of lifeguard.
(Am concerned lifeguard feels ineffectual, but am not prepared to give valid reason for rescue.)
Swimming still an important part of each day, though am aware that leaving pool sopping wet in clammy suit will very soon be pneumonia-inducing on drive home.
(Mem: If necessary, ask Mouse if he can spare cold medicine.)