Feel envious after reading novel about upper-class British before World War II who spoke French in front of parlourmaids when discussing local scandals. Parlours and maids very rare in our neighborhood, so make plans to speak French to Don in front of Mailman as soon as available scandal presents itself.
On further reflection, shelve idea as Don knows Spanish, but does not speak French, so we would get no further, and risk instead wounding feelings of Philippine mailman. Fear also that deficiency of scandals makes plan inviable.
(Query: Are scandals exclusive property of politicians, and if so, can they be distributed more equitably? This would serve as excellent example of Democracy and How Our Country Works. Affairs of State, or any other kind, never dull.)
Spend extraordinary amount of time on hold with state agency to gather information about acquiring real estate broker license. Was assured by disembodied Voice at beginning of telephone odyssey, in polite and brisk manner, that I would wait on hold a mere 21 minutes. Fifty minutes later brisk Voice is still assuring me that my call is Important to Them, and alternately, that My Call Will Be Answered in the Order Received. (Query: How can I be sure? Suspicion here presents itself that I am Being Made Fun Of by lounging employees laughing at blinking lights on phones).
Voice occasionally insists that I should Keep Holding, and I am forced to agree with her, as I have invested much of my life into this telephone call and do not like to feel time was wasted. (Query: Is this not the same deluded rationale women apply to certain books, movies, and boyfriends?).
Other phone call to medical provider looms in near future, with similar hold times, and I wonder if there is course of study that can be undertaken during times of forced inactivity. Phone calls to agencies can be folded into weekly study time, with result being that I will become qualified for all manner of occupations. Feel quite proud of time management technique, should I ever choose to use it. (Perhaps I could start business of waiting on hold for people?)
Catch up on news while on hold and am bemused by television ad for prescription pill designed to alleviate too much water in system. Soothing voice, eliciting confidence in Bloated Consumer, informs viewers that should Increased Urination develop after swallowing water pills, to Contact Doctor. Consider calling and requesting advice from appliance store after washing machine renders clothing clean, or contacting supermarket manager after groceries are consumed, and hunger assuaged.
(Note to self: Tendency to flights of sarcasm not always appreciated by strangers or friends).