September 26, 20-

Fondness for real life murder mysteries gives weight to observation repeated to dear Mother, now gone, about habit of leaving tissues wherever she was sitting.  Tissues excellent clues to identification should she ever have committed homicide. Profile built by law enforcement would include propensity to keep tissues, used and unused, nearby at all times.

Observation justified when murder suspect in show is caught because of DNA left in tissue at crime scene. Murderer not only unhygienic, but  sloppy. Must suppose he did not listen to his mother. (Do not like to imagine how forensic scientist retrieved clue).

(Query: Are television viewing habits conducive to restful sleep or comfort with being home alone?)

Lie down for nap in the afternoon and awaken to find dear Sugar Baby sitting at my head and holding large rock in her mouth.  Am quite startled, and contemplate whether she and I were adversaries in another life. (Am reminded of favorite Far Side cartoon of sweating moose backed up to tree in forest and racking his brain as to where he has met roving man with hunting gear and rifle; me being Moose in current scenario featuring Sugar and Rock).

Am thankful rock is deposited on my stomach, rather than face, and rack brain to determine what chance misdeed perpetrated by me has birthed incipient canine violence.

????????????????????

Later, find rock reposing on my spot on sofa.  Reminded of chilling metaphor in Godfather movie of paper wrapped parcel of fish delivered to enemy as symbolic warning that recipient will Sleep With The Fishes and decide Sugar has ties to Organized Crime. Consider changing her name to Capo. Misgivings later confirmed when remains of Mr. Squeak are presented by dear Sugar as viable toy. All that is left is one blue leg with red boot.

(Query: Do I have responsibility of finding relatives to inform them of probable demise of member of Squeak Family?)

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(Note to self: Hide kitchen knives and ask local police to do background search on her biological parents).

Decide not to let her watch murder mysteries with me any longer.

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(NB: Belief in limpid brown eyes as indicators of innocence now extinct).

 

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